” HerdiOflo “

Have you ever been invited to a party or get together, where you felt kinda out of place and alone? For an example, you have no interest in the sport of cricket, you have no interest in the trading of magic cards, you have no interest in role playing games, and you did not know anyone in the party except the friend that invited you; and saying no to your friend would disrespect his/her open invitation. What do you do?

You’ll also know that your host friend will be so busy accompanying his/her other guests, they won’t have time to introduce you to anyone else, as most of them say, “Hey, glad you could make it!! blah..blah..blah..blah.. alright then, enjoy the party. Make yourself at home.” –> Then its like, wait a minute, i’m alone now..

So, whats the first thing you do?

I learned that being in one of these situations, I had to learn the art of being a good conversationalist.
The trick is to use your surroundings to start small talk with anyone and open a conversation base on what you see around you. Maybe the interesting painting in your friend’s house, the nice location of the party, the furniture, the lamp, the floor marbles, etc.. basically, anything that you see to start small talk.

After finding someone in agreement with you or show any sign of interest in speaking with you; You then make the conversation build deeper and stronger, and even make a link with the person you’re talking to; by letting them talk about themselves and stir up their interest of themselves. Just be a good listener and ask questions about themselves. They’ll be happy to speak about the challenges they faced, the good and bad times as well as their highest moments. If your’re lucky, they’ll be delighted to introduce you to one of their pals and build from there.
One thing for sure is; be genuine in creating interest of the other person. Don’t do it out of some “party strategy & tactics move” or even something you felt you had to do to survive in the deep oceans. Just take it easy and think in terms of finding a friend. Just use your heart to find interest in the other person; let them talk about themselves; ask about their experiences; ask them advice; just let them carry on talking about themselves.

Believe me, they’re going to show great respect towards you and even put a good word to others as well as the host of party. People throughout centuries mostly care about themselves and self worth with other people. For an example, if there is a group picture, whos the first person you look at in the picture? yes, who else? you. You will look to find, “where am I in the picture?” - Thats just a natural reaction of a human being.

So, in conclusion.. whenever you’re at a party where you felt out of place and alone, just think, “I’ve got to be a good conversationalist, I’ve got to be a good listener and just stir up conversations where others will speak of themselves.”

Now go out there and mingle

Its a party!

Why do I find it so important to jot and write things down? Because I believe that writing things down will concretely give life to our thoughts and accomplishments. As we all agree, our attention span these days are very limited due to our fast paced lives. We have so many distractions all around us from text messaging, advertising, phone calls, daily work processes, that seem to carry on to our memory; A very short attention span as well as beginning to show signs of short-term memory.

Throughout our days, we tend to have ideas that pass us by, then suddenly within 10 seconds after the text message you received on your cell phone, you completely forget. Thats normal guys, we subconsiously act like that.

I’ve made it a habit to carry around my little black book everywhere I go and jot down everything that I think about whenever I have my pen ready in front of me. There are so many things that we can accomplish by writing things down.

Here are 20 outcomes that i’ve encountered which have made my life more meaningful after creating the habit of writing and jotting things down on my black book..

1. I find solutions to problems faster
2. I focus on my daily work processes
3. I retrieve ideas for my business
4. I act faster on my agenda
5. I monitor my processes easier
6. I don’t run off-track
7. I know what I need to achieve within the day, week, month and year
8. I don’t forget birthdays
9. I reply emails and messages faster
10. I live more calm
11. I do not procrastinate anymore
12. I decide faster using pros and cons
13. I establish a foundation for my thoughts
14. I can monitor my personal growth easier
15. I know exactly what I need to work on after defining my weaknesses
16. I know what I need to probe on through my strengths
17. Living life full of energy and poise
18. Being able to organize my business, life, and family
19. Prioritizing
20. Finding the time to give back to society

I’d like to speak about this topic after having numerous discussions with friends who share the same ideas and perception as me of freeing themselves from the 9 to 5 paradigm, but seemed to be too deeply embedded in the corporate world, where they see it a waste of time to start their life all over again and quit their 9 to 5 jobs.

It is an interesting topic that i’d like to bring up, because in this day and age, employees of the corporate world are more dedicated and loyal to their proffesions other than the companies they work for. They seek higher compensation, benefits, a more customized/fun work environment to work in, and seeking appreciation from their companies & employers. Basically, not many corporate employees these days are loyal to their companies.

I have come to learn that the Human Resource Department within each of these large corporations understand the ongoing trend of disloyalty, that they have established a system where every single one of their employees are easily replaceable. Some have 3-4 backups within the organization to prepare employees from exiting their organization.

From the skills they learn, the training in which they receive, their obligations to the company; organizations are more than ready to replace their employees. Don’t get me wrong that they want to get rid of their talented and best employees, but my point is that they shape their employees which in turn benefit the organization, to be easily replaceable. They prepare candidates from within the organization, as well as have candidates outside the organization to continue the job of a vacant position. Therefore, they do not depend on any “one” of their paid employees.

Another point is, the higher you are on the corporate ladder, the more intensed the organization will be in preparing other candidates to replace you. I’m not saying, they’re out there to replace you, but the organization especially the Human Resource Department are preparing for rain with an umbrella - by preparing other candidates.

Business is business, and there’s no point in taking it personal… so why not, just focus on our own business where we have the freedom to learn what we choose as well as knowing that no one out there is preparing to replace us.

In conclusion, corporate employees must understand (if they don’t already know) that their positions anywhere within the organization are easily replaceable and organizations will not depend on any paid employee for the direction and operation of their on going business. Therefore, please increase your skills by learning many other aspects of work in which will benefit you and your future.

Lets live and learn.